Total Drama Office
by Total Drama's Flying Circus
Summary: What happens when a documentary crew film what they thought was a seemingly normal office setting, but instead get hijinks and craziness of one regional manager and his office workers?
1. Episode 1: Pilot

**Introductory Note: This is my first first fanfic so I might be choppy on the format. This fanfic will be a recreation of the American Version of** ** _The Office_** **using the characters from** ** _Total Drama_** **. I'm not going to do all episodes of** ** _The Office_** **, I'm just going pick any episode that fits some characters, important on continuity, and sometimes on a subplot that I like.**

 **The first chapters will mostly feature the original** ** _Total Drama_** **cast with one from** ** _Ridonculous Race_** **. Also, there will be some characters who will remain the one's they were from** ** _The Office_** **because I couldn't find anyone from** ** _Total Drama_** **that fits with those certain characters (except one character because I like that character). The characters will be aged up to fit the characters they are representing.**

 **Also, the years this story is set in will be the same as the episodes they were premiered. So expect some references you might not get.**

* * *

 **Prologue**

When the office first heard that they'll be the subject of a documentary, they were surprised that someone wanted to film a paper company from Scranton, Pennsylvania. Actually, the paper company wasn't the first choice for the documentary crew. Their first choices were either one of the famous companies like Microsoft, HP, or Disney. But all of those said no to the documentary crew. Luckily the higher ups of the paper company heard about the documentary and they agreed to them film their company. The paper company picked its Scranton Branch because they had good reports coming from that branch.

The workers in the office at first were a little bit uncomfortable with the crew's presence at first, but they were starting to feel okay when they realized the prospect of being in TV, despite the documentary airing on PBS. The only rule the crew enforced on the office workers is to never interact with the production crew while they're filming, besides their introduction and the occasional talking head interviews, or as one office worker called it " confessionals". Although the people in the office were breaking that rule more often during the years they were filmed, but the production crew didn't punish them for it.

The documentary crew stayed with the Scranton Branch for over 9 years and got a lot of good footage for the documentary. But when the documentary crew started to roll their cameras for the first, they were expecting high levels of professionalism coming from the workers. What they actually got though were a series of wackiness and random occurrences from the Scranton branch doing those 9 year period.

Yet, the crew still stay with them because they saw something different from them unlike the normal office setting. Though there were some ups and downs coming from the office workers, they have some sense of emotions and positive vibes from the people of the Scranton Branch.

And this is the story they got from them.

* * *

 **Episode 1: Pilot**

The documentary starts with its camera capturing a small meeting between the regional manager of the office branch and one of its top salesman of the branch. The regional manager is in his mid to late 30s, although he would like to tell the documentary crew he's about 27. The salesman is a handsome young man in his late 30s with black hair and green eyes that would make anyone be attracted to him.

"All right Trent. Your quarterlies look very good. How are things at the library?" The regional manager said to the salesman.

"Oh, I told you. I couldn't close it. So…" the salesman replied before being interrupted by his boss.

"So you've come to the master for guidance?" The manager playfully asked. "Is that what you're saying grasshopper?"

"Uh no you called me in actually. But yeah." The salesman refuted back.

"Oh. All right then, I'll show how it's done."

The camera cuts seconds later with the manager talking to the library on the phone. "Yes, hello. This is Chris McClean, the regional manager of Dunder Drama Paper Products. Just want to talk to you manager-a-manager." After a few seconds, the library office manager reached a deal with the paper manager. "All right, thank you very much. You're such a gentleman and a… oh I'm sorry, I'm mean madame. My mistake."

"That was a woman on the phone." The regional manager told his salesman. "She had a low voice. But anyway, that's how it's done."

After the meeting, the regional manager, Chris McClean, then talked to the camera for his first confessional in the manager's office. "I've been working with Dunder Drama for 12 years with the last 4 being regional manager of the Scranton Branch. Dunder Drama was actually named after it's 2 founders: Robert Dunder and William Drama. Yeah I didn't know that there are people who are named Drama, but I'm not here to complain."

The camera then cuts to the whole office with them following Chris as he introduced one of the people who worked on the office. "Over here on the front desk is our receptionist Gwen Beesley."

The camera caught a girl the same age as the other salesperson, but sporting a goth look with black hair with blue streaks. "Gwen has been work with us for uh, forever. Right, Gwen?"

"Well, I don't know." Gwen coldly replied back.

"You know this office would've been more bright if she wasn't goth." Chris told the cameras.

"I can still hear you you know." Gwen said before switching to work related subject.

"So any messages?"

"Just a fax from Jan".

Chris groaned loudly. "Okay fine. Thanks Gwen."

Just as the camera sees a woman in a suit, who's about the same age as Chris, entering the office, Chris used the confessional in his office.

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confessional***_

Corporate doesn't really influence me. Including Dunder Drama vice president Jan Levison Gold. I call her the "Evil Queen" from Snow White. But not to her face though.

* * *

Jan and Chris started a meeting in Chris' office with Gwen also attending to take notes. "Alright Chris is there anything to add on the agenda?" Jan asked Chris.

"Me got no agenda." Chris replied in a the tone of a giant.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I didn't get the agenda." Chris said in his normal voice.

"But I faxed it and gave it Gwen. Didn't Gwen gave it to you?"

"Well maybe she gave me the wrong paper."

"Actually, you threw it on the garbage under your 'Special Files' section." Gwen corrected Chris.

"Yeah that was a joke." Chris told Gwen.

"Anyway, the board of directors had a meeting today and decided we can't save both the Scranton and Stamford branch." Jan told Chris, who's begin to worry. "Chris don't panic."

"It's okay, I'm not panicking. It's all good. It's aaaaaalllll good."

"Well I told Josh the same thing and you and him have convince one another to do it."

Chris widens his eyes. "My alarm bells are going off. Ding-ding-ding-ding!"

Just as Chris continued imitating an alarm bell, Gwen feels uncomfortable being in the meeting. "Chris!" Jan interrupted. "You know this means a possible downsizing between your's or Josh's branch."

Chris calmed down. "Okay, no problem. But downsizing's a bitch. And I wouldn't wished that on my crew. Or Josh's crew. Or any man, woman and child on this planet."

"Alright, but I ask you not to blow the lid on the downsizing."

"Can't do that Jan. Cause we're a family in this office and we're not suppose to keep secrets."

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confessional***_

*Camera shows Jan leaving the office with a voiceover of Chris*

Am I going to sugar coat this downsizing? No.

It's not gonna be like a doctor who can't tell his or her patients that they have a horrible disease with a parade of clowns dancing behind the doctor.

* * *

When the entire office heard about the rumors of a possible downsizing, most of them began to worry that they'll be losing their jobs. But for others, like Gwen and the salesman from earlier, are talking other things like any normal day.

"I have an important question to ask you, Trent?" Gwen asked.

"What is it?" Trent asked.

"Are you going to Heather's cat party Saturday?"

Trent laughed. "Alright stop this is ridiculous."

As Gwen and Trent continued laughing, a young man with brown hair in his early 20s entered the office, but Chris noticed him before Gwen could call him.

"Hey!" Chris said to the man.

"Hey." The young man timidly said back.

"This is our 'wonderful' boss, Mr. McClean." Gwen sarcastically said.

"Hi, I'm Cody Howard from the temp agency. Danquia sent for me."

"Howard? Like Three Stooges?"

"Yup."

"You know I'm a big thespian in the realm of comedy. Wanna see my Three Stooges routine?"

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confessional***_

*A voiceover of Gwen as Michael does his Three Stooges impression*

I don't think it would worst if they fire because… I don't think young girls ever dream receptionist.

Especially not on Dunder Drama Scranton. I basically want to be a painter. I mostly do, how you say… abstract art.

*stays quiet for 5 seconds*

Trent likes them though.

* * *

On Trent's desk, just as he was finishing a sales call on the phone, he noticed that his coworker/desk mate was moving his stuff onto Trent's desk. "Ezekiel what are you doing?" Trent asked the other man who looked like he never had any social interactions with normal human beings.

"Cleaning my desk. Can't concentrate." He replied back to Trent.

"It's not just your desk Ezekiel."

"It's overlapping. It's spilling over the edge. One word, two syllables. Demarcation." Minutes later, just as Ezekiel got back from his coffee break, he noticed Trent built a ford made of sharp pencils all over his desk. "You can't do that." Ezekiel told Trent.

"Why not?"

"Safety violations. I could fall and pierce and organ."

"We'll see." Bothered by the pencils, Ezekiel smashed them with his phone, amusing Trent. "See this is why this whole downsizing thing doesn't bother me." Trent said.

"Did you just say 'downsizing'?!" A shocked Ezekiel said.

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel Confessional***_

Downsizing? I have no problem with that. I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here. I even brought it up in my interview. I say, bring it on.

* * *

On the front desk, Gwen reminded Chris that he still have messages from yesterday.

"Okay, they look important. I should run them and answer them." Chris jokingly said.

Chris then pretended to run by taking giant steps and making sound effects with them, which Gwen isn't amused by it. "What are you doing?" An annoyed Gwen asked.

'The Six Million Dollar Man?" Chris replied, but Gwen just coldy stared at him. "Come on. Steve Austin. Actually, that would be a good salary. Enough for me to have a good young look." Chris then held up a piece of paper and pretended to write on it. "Memo to Jan: I deserve a raise."

"Don't we all?"

"I'm sorry? What did you just say?"

"Nothing." Gwen quickly replied back.

"Well, if you're unhappy with your work situation, maybe you should take it to Dwayne from HR."

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confessional***_

I'm considered to be a good role model here. I garner people's respect.

*Camera cuts to Chris announcing an office meeting while imitating a PA system*

My role models are Billy Crystal, Abraham Lincoln… the boss Bruce Springsteen is also a good role model. And they really helped people so much that it's out of this world. It's incalculable.

*Sips from a coffee mug inscribed "World's Greatest Boss"*

* * *

Chris gathered everyone in the office to the confessional room, except for Cody who's calling on the phone the main room. "I heard they might be closing this branch down." Cody said to someone on the phone. "That's just the rumor going around. This is my first day. I don't really know."

Back in the conference room, Chris tried to calm everyone down about what he's about to say. "Now I know there's a rumor hanging around in here," Chris said, "and I just want to set the records straight."

"I'm Assistant Regional Manager." Ezekiel interrupted. "I should know first."

"Assistant _to the_ Regional Manager, Zeek." Chris corrected him.

"Okay… but can you at least tell me quietly and whisper it in my ear?"

"No, everyone's going to hear this now, alright!" Chris shut Ezekiel up. "Corporate has forced an ultimatum on me. Jan told me that they're considering downsizing this branch or Stamford's." Just as Chris mentioned the word "downsizing", every worker in the office besides Ezekiel started to panic. Chris tried to calm the office by handing Gwen a floor to speak.

"Um… I was in the meeting with Jan and Chris earlier this morning." Gwen told everyone. "She said it could be this branch that gets the axe."

Everyone started become more scared that the either one of them would be fired while a few others like Trent tried to remain calm.

* * *

 _ ***Trent's Confessional***_

If I left, what would I do with all this useless information in my head? You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? Um, Gwen's favorite flavor of yogurt, which is mixed berry.

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confessional***_

Trent said mixed berries? Well, yeah, he's on to me. Um…

*Laughs*

* * *

After the meeting, Chris tried to make things more happy by introducing Cody the temp to other people in the office, starting with Ezekiel. "Watch for this guy. Ezekiel Schrute in the building." Chris joked. "This is Cody, the new temp."

"What's up? Nice to meet you." Cody introduced himself to Ezekiel.

"Introduce yourself and be polite, Zeek." Chris instructed.

"Ezekiel Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager."

"Assistant _t_ _o the_ Regional Manager." Chris annoyingly corrected Ezekiel again. "So Zeek, tell Cody about your beet farm and your kung fu moves."

"The beet farm is going well." Ezekiel said. "But I will not tell him about my kung fu moves. It's my warriors code not to tell my enemies the secret to defeat them."

"Uh oh, looks like we have a giant nerd here." Chris said in a funny voice.

Just as Chris and Cody were about to leave, Ezekiel opened his drawer and found a surprise inside. "Damn it, Trent!" Ezekiel shouted, gaining the attention of Chris.

"OK, the court is in session. What is it now Ezekiel?"

"He put my stuff in jello again!" Ezekiel lifted a plate of yellow jello with a stapler inside. Gwen saw it and quietly laughed from her desk. "This is real professional, Trent! This is the third time and it wasn't funny the first two times!"

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel's Confession***_

It's OK here, but people sometimes take advantage because it's so relaxed. I'm a volunteer Sheriff's Deputy on the weekends. And you cannot screw around there. That's sort of one of the rules I had to follow.

* * *

Ezekiel tried to take his stapler out the jello, but Chris is against it. "No. No. Stop it Ezekiel, there are starving people in Africa. Which I hate." Chris told the camera before going back to Ezekiel. "And it's a waste of a perfectly good food."

"Alright then. You there, new guy! Can you be my witness?" Ezekiel pointed to Cody.

"How do you know it was me?" Trent calmly interrupted.

"It's always you. I can feel it. Are you going to discipline him, Chris?"

Chris was acting immature for a moment before acting professional again. "Alright, here's the deal guys. When it comes to practical jokes, there is a time to start and a time to stop."

"Yeah!" Ezekiel cheered.

"And Trent, this is a time to stop."

Trent nodded in agreement. "Okay, I understand. Zeek, I'm sorry, but I have always been your biggest flan."

Cody laughed at Trent's remarks. "Maybe we should put you in custurdy."

Chris really like Cody's joke "Nice! Score one for the new guy!" Chris said and high fived Cody. "Alright let's get on with the rest of the crew." Chris brought Cody to a desk with three people. "This little island is the Accountants. And the one leading the crew is Heather Wong. Or as people call her the 'Queen Bee'."

Chris introduced Cody to Heather, a Chinese-American who is about the same as Gwen. "What's up, I'm Cody." Cody wanted to shake hands with Heather, but she refused.

"I don't shake hands with new people until I get to know them better. Heather said. "And from the looks of it, you look like a dog person."

Chris moved on to a big man sitting across from Heather. "Here we have our residential teddy bear, Owen Malone." Chris said

"Hey there." Owen said to Cody before he got up from his desk. "Wanna a welcome a hug?"

Cody then went on a defensive formation. "Um… maybe later." He told Owen.

Just as Owen happily sat down, Chris introduced the last accountant. "And now the smartest of the bunch, straight from Hawaii Justin Hale!" Chris said like a game show host. Justin, who is described by Chris as the "second" hottest person of office, waved to Cody. "Justin, by the way, is our first openly gay worker in this office." Chris said before he turned to the camera. "Which I'm not against, by the way. I think Dunder Drama needs to be forward thinking for the future."

"Yeah, I'm not like one of those types of gay stereotypes you see on TV." Justin told Cody. I'm just a regular guy who happens to work on a small paper company."

"Oh no I'm cool with being openly gay. I'm not homophobic or anything." Cody said.

"Thanks. And by the way. By the time you get to know more of this office, you'll find that I'm one of the few normal people here." Justin told him.

Chris and Cody then went to a red-headed woman in her 40s who's seated behind the accountants. "And here we have our suppliers relations, Meredith Palmer."

"Hi there." Cody said.

"Hey, you want to me after work and 'hang out'?" Meredith told Cody.

"Probably best if you say no." Chris instructed Cody. Chris then introduced an orange-haired girl sitting across from Meredith. "And here we have Izzy and she's in charge of… something."

"That is correct." Izzy told Chris and Chris didn't argue about it.

Chris and Cody then moved on to the desk behind Ezekiel. "This is our senior salespeople of the office. This is our 'office grandma' Beth Lapis." Chris introduced to a girl with glasses and brown hair.

"Actually Chris, I'm a couple years younger than you." Beth corrected before Chris tried ignore her by moving to an older African-American sitting across from Beth.

"And here is Stanley Hudson. The light of our life in this office!" Chris introduced, but Stanley ignored them by doing crosswords. After that, Chris and Cody then moved on to the back office. "This here is the annex. And here's Sierra Aguilar, who works on customer service." Chris introduced Cody to a Latino girl with purple hair.

"Hi." Sierra said while trying to contain her excitement by the sight of Cody

"Um… hi." Cody said.

Chris and Cody moved on to the final person, a middle-aged man with brown hair, working in the office. "And last and definitely least: Dwayne Flenderson!"

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

Dwayne is in HR, which technically means he works for corporate, so he's really not a part of our family. Also, he's divorced, so he's really not a part of his family.

* * *

The camera cuts to Gwen and Trent having a conversation with one another in the front desk like any other day in the office. "Do you like having an end of the week drink?" Trent asked.

"By working with the most annoying boss, hell yeah!" Gwen said.

"Well get this, all of us here are having a middle-of-the-week drink later tonight. Are you game?"

"Oh I'm definitely game."

The two were then interrupted by a slightly large man, who was the same age as the two, with a bag entering the office. Trent became scared by the sight of man. "What's up, Roy?"

"What's up, Trent my man." The man said before going to Gwen. "Hey. Are you ready?"

"Almost." Gwen replied.

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confessional***_

Roy's my fiancé. We've been engaged about three years. We were supposed to get married in September but I think we're gonna get married in the spring.

* * *

"Hey, Roy do you think I can hang out with these guys later?" Gwen asked Roy.

"No. No. I just wanna get home after work."

"Okay. I'm just gonna be ready for 25 minutes because I still have to send Chris some messages." Gwen said in an almost sad voice as if she won't see Trent later before leaving her desk.

With Gwen gone, Trent and Roy tried to remain quiet as if they don't want to be the first to talk. "So um… what's in the bag?" Trent gave in. Roy didn't answered and left as if he was a little bit mad.

* * *

 _ ***Trent's Confessional***_

Do I think I'm gonna be invited to the wedding? Um… *long period of silence and scratches his head*

* * *

With only a quarter to 5, Chris and Cody are in Chris' office and decided to have a little chat. "So have you felt the vibe yet?" Chris asked but Cody shrugged. "Okay. I guess the atmosphere I've created here is I'm a your friend first, then boss second… and probably an entertainer for third." Chris was then interrupted when he heard a knock on the door. "Okay, do you watch prank shows like Punk'd?" Cody didn't answer Chris. "Okay let me show you. And you're gonna be my accomplice." Chris then acts calm to prepare for his prank. "Come in."

Gwen walks in with a stalk of paper in her hands. "Chris I need you to…"

"Not now Gwen, just have a seat. I have something important to tell you." Chris interrupted. Not knowing what's going on, Gwen followed Michael and sat down. "As you know, there's going to be a downsizing." Gwen nodded in agreement, but is starting to feel scared. "Well you just made my life easier and I'm gonna say I'm eliminating you from this office."

"What?! Why?!" A surprised Gwen asked.

"Well, for stealing post-it notes."

Gwen is confused by what he said. "Post-it notes?! Chris those cost 50 cents a piece!"

"Yeah, but you could've made a profit from it. You're gonna run us out of business."

"Are you serious?! I mean I've never stolen everything in my life!"

"I am serious. And I'm also we're not going to give you a severance pay because it's a gross misconduct so… clean your desk you're gone."

Chris then noticed Gwen started to cry, the first he actually seen her like that. Knowing he feels bad about, Chris decided to end the prank "Surprise! You've been punk'd!" Chris said which made Gwen stopped crying. "Come on it's a joke. I just wanted to make Cody feel welcome about the office." The camera then showed Cody shaking his head showing his disagreement on the joke.

"You're a jerk!" Gwen said and stormed off Chris' office leaving just silence between Chris and Cody.

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confessional***_

What is the most important thing for a company? Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? Nuh-uh. It's the people. The people. My proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17% or when I cut expenses without losing a single employee. No, no. It was a young man who recently graduated from college. He came to me, and said, "Mr. Scott, would you help get a job in Dunder Drama?" Wow. Wow. Didn't work out in the end. We had to let him go. He sucked.

* * *

Gwen came out of the restroom after cleaning her face from the prank Chris did and noticed Trent being the only one in the office. "Hey, I thought you were suppose to go out drinking with the others?" Gwen asked.

"Oh no, I decided to not go. So how's your headache?"

"Fine, thanks."

"Oh great… um…. Do you want to?" Trent was then interrupted by a car horn outside.

"Well I better get going. Have a nice weekend." Gwen said to Trent.

"You too." Trent said and Gwen left. With no one else in the office, Trent decided to have one more prank before leaving. "You know what, follow me." Trent told the camera and they followed him to the office and showed them a plate of jello with Chris' "World's Greatest Boss" mug in the jello.

* * *

 **So that's the end of the first episode. New chapters will be updated weekly.**

 **Author's Note: I originally was going to cast Izzy as Meredith, but I decided to make her be Creed because both of them have the same type of personalities in their respective series.**


	2. Episode 2: The Alliance

**Welcome to the second episode of the ongoing story _Total Drama_ _Office_. Technically, this was the 4th episode of _The Office_ , but decided to make this one the second because I don't have much to write for episodes 2 and 3 for the _Total Drama_ characters. And also I wanted to write this episode just for the Jim and Dwight storyline. Unlike the original episode, this one will have less of Chris in this chapter. Starting on this chapter, I will write a short synopsis of the chapter so you can get what it's about.**

 **Also to note, I forgot to introduce an important, but minor character in the introductory chapter so I introduce him here and got him some Toby's parts in this chapter.**

* * *

 **Synopsis: To downplay a potential downsize, Chris devises a plan to lighten everyone's mood. Elsewhere, Ezekiel forms an alliance with Trent in order to get secrets from other workers he could use for the downsizing.**

* * *

 **Episode 2: The Alliance**

The second day of shooting starts with Ezekiel waiting outside the men's restroom for Chris. When Chris got out, he got scared by the sight of Ezekiel. "God! What do you want Ezekiel?!" Chris shouted at him.

"Chris, I want to talk to you about the downsizing." Ezekiel asked just as he walked with Chris.

"There is no downsizing, Zeek." Chris denied.

"But if there is, I'd gain immunity because I'm Assistant Regional Manager right?"

"Just assistant, Zeek. I'm not going to remind you everyday." An annoyed Chris told Ezekiel.

"But I'm not going to get fired, right?"

Chris and Ezekiel stopped walking "Look, I talked to corporate and requested immunity for the sales staff. They said it isn't guarantee if there's a downsizing."

"Okay. Do I need to be worried then?"

Chris jokingly gulped. "Mmmm maybe."

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

It looks like there's going to be downsizing. I think I should take the easy route and fire the people I never talked a lot in this office. God! I wish more managers say you're hired more. People always talk about getting fired and not much getting hired.

Maybe I should write a song about downsizing because "hired" and "fired" rhyme.

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel's Confession***_

(Ezekiel looks at the water cooler with Trent, Justin, and Dwayne talking over the water cooler next to the door leading to the annex)

It's a real shame, 'cause studies have shown that more information gets passed through water-cooler gossip than through office memos.

Which puts me at a disadvantage, because I bring my own water to work. (Holds up a water bottle)

* * *

Stanley and Owen went to the water cooler, but found something different to it. "Why'd you do this?" Stanley asked.

"Did what?" Ezekiel asked as camera zoomed out revealing that Ezekiel moved the water cooler next to him.

"This." Stanley pointed at the moved water cooler

"Oh the water cooler was brought here for… maintenance. So anyway, how are things going? What is a scuttle-bug? Any gossip about Gerry?" Dwight asked Stanley and Owen, but they only looked at each other in confusion and left.

Meanwhile in Chris' office, Chris lets the camera crew in on his plan about the downsizing problem. "Get this. I call this 'Operation Morale Booster'. Starring Chris McClean. And this plan wouldn't be possible without the smart Gwen Beesley." The camera shifted focus to Gwen who had an annoyed look on her face. "Now all I have to do is throw a birthday celebration in this office. And the birthday person is… drum roll please!"

"Actually, we don't have any birthdays today." Gwen corrected Chris.

Chris' look on his face changed once he heard it. "Oh. Well, who's the next person on the line?"

Gwen shuffled Chris' calendar. "It's… Meredith's."

Chris jumped and clapped his hands. "All right! We're gonna have Meredith's birthday party later!"

"But her birthday isn't til next month."

"We'll just make it a surprise then. Come on, gather the party planning committee. Let's go go go!" Chris cheered as Gwen left his office.

In the conference room, the party planning committee is underway to plan Meredith's "birthday" party with Gwen, Heather, Sierra, and Beth planning. "Is it okay if I ask a certain someone from the office to come?" Sierra asked.

"Sierra, everyone in the office is invited. You don't to ask." Gwen said. "So what flavor of cake should we buy."

"Meredith's lactose intolerant. She can't eat cake." Heather said.

"For decorations, we can have streamers." Beth suggested.

"I think it's a good idea." Heather said making Beth smiled as if it was the first time Heather agreed with her for once. "What color should it be?"

"Green." Gwen suggested.

"No. Green is very ugly to look at." Heather said leaving Gwen to roll her eyes.

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confession***_

The party planning committee is nothing more than just "Heather planning everything while the other women in the office are just... there". One time I suggested we should do a coin toss in case of a deadlock, but Heather rejected it because she thinks it's gambling and she's against it. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

* * *

Outside the conference room, Ezekiel went to Trent to discuss his secret plan regarding the downsizing. "Listen, I was thinking that it might be a good idea to form an alliance. Cause of, you know, the downsizing." Ezekiel told Trent and Trent nodded. "Maybe look each other's back."

After a few seconds of silence, Trent agreed. "Absolutely I would."

"Good because we should talk strategy. We should know who's protected and who's vulnerable and who's…"

* * *

 _ ***Trent's** **Confession***_

Trent: At that moment, I was so happy. You know because everything Ezekiel says annoys me."

(Cuts to a scene shot a couple of days ago)

Ezekiel: Hey, did you get your tickets?

Trent: For… what?

Ezekiel: The gun show! (rolled his sleeve and kissed his biceps)

(Cuts back to Trent in the conference room)

Trent: And I spent hours thinking of ways to get him back, but only in ways that would get me arrested. And there he comes and say "No, Trent. Here's a way."

* * *

"And there's one important thing about this alliance. Don't. Tell. Anyone." Ezekiel told Trent.

And just as the conversation ended, Trent immediately told Gwen when Ezekiel was nowhere in sight. "An alliance?" Gwen laughed.

"He totally said that."

"What does that even mean?"

"I don't know. He's trying to make this some sort of game show."

"Well for Ezekiel, everything is a game show."

Unfortunately, Ezekiel saw Trent and Gwen talking and interrupted them when he called them. "Uh, Trent. Can I talk to you for a second about… paper stuffs." Ezekiel and Trent went to him in the break room. "Did you tell Gwen about the alliance?" He whispered.

"Oh no no. I'm actually just using her for the alliance. Cause who knows the most information in this office?"

Ezekiel looked at Gwen and nodded in agreement. "Right. That's good. Pursue the info."

"But listen. I'm going to have to talk to her a lot. All right? And there may be chatting, and giggling. And you gotta just pretend to ignore it. Wipe it away."

"Crystal clear."

"Good." Trent told Ezekiel. When Trent left, Ezekiel looked over the office to see which one might betray him.

An hour later, Ezekiel and Trent went in some sort of stakeout and eyed Owen and Dwayne having lunched in the break room. "They seem awfully chummy don't you think?" Ezekiel asked Trent.

"Yeah. What do you think you saying?"

"There's only one way to find out."

"I'm on it." Trent said and went inside. When he sat with Owen and Dwayne, Trent started to have a conversation with them that's different to Dwight's plan. "So, what are you having for lunch? Turkey?" Trent asked Owen.

"Actually, it's tuna." Owen replied.

"Tuna. Great choice. You know what's good with tuna? Tomatoes, mayo, red onions."

Owen gleefully laugh. "Wow, you should write a book about sandwiched, Trent." Owen remarked.

Trent then went to Ezekiel outside of the building to "report" his findings. "Owen and Dwayne, they're thinking of throwing Heather under the bus."

"What?!" Ezekiel said in a surprised tone, which Trent doesn't see Ezekiel have that reaction very often. "Not if I can handle it. Think about Trent. Why would an accountant hang out with human resources? Because they're forming an alliance as well."

Ezekiel ordered Trent to go back to the break room, and the three continued about their lunches. "I know this isn't that much a popular opinion, but Quiznos is better sandwich place." Dwayne said.

"I really loved their sandwiches too." Trent said.

"Even though I don't agree with you, their jingle made me stop what I'm doing and drive to a nearest Quizzno's." Owen said and the other two cheered.

Trent went back outside and told Ezekiel the "bad news". "Damn it!" Ezekiel shouted.

"OK listen. We need to assume that everyone is forming an alliance and trying to get us out?"

"But why us?!"

"Because we're the better workers, Zeek. And that makes them jealous."

The camera then cuts to a quick glimpse of Chris trying to figure out what he wanted write on the birthday card for Meredith before cutting to Gwen and Trent in the front desk with enough distance for Ezekiel to hear them.

"Hey Trent, can I let you in on a little secret?" Gwen whispered.

"Spill."

"I just wanted to let you know that I've been acting crazing cause I keep hearing Chris' conversation with corporate about maybe… staff issues.

Trent pretended to be shocked. "Oh no, really?"

"Yeah, he's making me take notes on these meetings and I'm, like, "These people are my friends." But he's all like, "This is confidential. You can't tell anybody." But I just feel like I want to... aaah. Just promise me you're not gonna say anything."

"Oh, don't worry. I won't tell anyone about your secret." Trent winked.

"Thanks, Trent."

When they left, all Ezekiel could ever think about is victory. "Jackpot." He whispered to himself.

* * *

 _ *****_ _ **Chris' Confession***_

I got everyone to say something nice about Meredith in this here card. (Shows the camera a birthday card with word pun of birthday). Here's the thing, whatever I write here, It has to be really funny. Because people are expecting it. And they're worried about their jobs. Can you imagine if I wrote something like, uh, "Oh, Meredith. Happy Birthday. You're great. Love, Michael." (gags)

* * *

For over a couple of hours, Chris was still stuck on the birthday card that he started to sing "Merry Had a Little Lamb" over and over. Chris was then relieved when he saw Ezekiel entering his office.

"Do you wanted to see me?" Ezekiel asked.

"Yes. Zeek! Just the man I was looking for." Chris said. "Now what do you know about Meredith?"

Ezekiel shrugged. "I don't think she'll be missed."

"There won't be a downsizing, Zeek! I just wanted to know more about my friend."

"Name, Meredith Palmer. Uh, personal information, divorced twice, two kids. Uh, Employer, Dunder Mifflin Paper Incorporated. Awards, multiple Dundies."

"I know all of that. Come on! At least give me something embarrassing?"

Ezekiel paused for a moment to think what Meredith has done. "Um… probably the time she brought her son one 'Take Your Daughter to Work Day'."

Chris rubbed his head and let out a big groan. "I don't even know I'm asking you this. It was a giant waste. Okay, I'll just make it up because I am on a deadline." Chris then walked out of his as he was writing the card.

Later, Trent and Ezekiel went outside as Trent revealed a "valuable" information about the other alliances. "Okay, listen Ezekiel. Gwen has told me that one of the alliances is gonna have meeting at the warehouse during Meredith's birthday." Trent said.

"Oh God, we have to be there!"

"No, we can't. One of us has to be there. We don't want to make it look too suspicious."

"You're right. You know what, I'll do it!"

"Awesome!" Trent said and high fived Ezekiel.

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel's Confession***_

I'm a deer hunter. I go all the time with my dad. One thing about deer, they have very good vision. One thing about me, I am better at hiding than they are... at vision.

* * *

As the office was finishing up decorating for Meredith's "birthday" party, Chris got pretty excited by how things were going. "What the hell is it taking so long? By the time we're finished, Meredith would've been dust by now." Chris said.

"You know, you could at least help us contribute to the party instead of barking orders." Heather said.

"I already did contribute." Chris said as he pointed card and Heather rolled her eyes. "Alright, Meredith's is almost here. Places everyone!" Chris ordered and everyone ran to their positions.

In the warehouse, Ezekiel and Trent found a perfect hiding spot in a form of a box. "Are you sure it'll work? The lid won't close." Trent said.

"So tape it down!" Ezekiel shouted.

"But you might not be able to breath."

"Don't worry about me. If it makes you feel better, I'll poke some holes." Trent didn't argue and just followed Ezekiel said.

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel's Confession***_

Can I trust Trent? I don't know. Do I have a choice? No, frankly, I don't. Will I trust Trent? Yes. Should I trust Trent? You tell me.

* * *

Upstairs, Chris told everyone to get ready as soon as they heard footsteps. "SURPRISE!" Everyone shouted, which confused Meredith.

"So who's the surprise for?" Meredith asked.

"It's a surprise for you." Chris replied. Everyone is off sync when they sing "Happy Birthday" which annoyed Chris and told everyone to be in the right key.

At the hallways, Gwen was waiting for Trent to come back from the warehouse. "So how did it go?" Gwen asked.

"I think you should see for yourself?" Trent remarked. "Go down there and work your magic."

This made Gwen excited that she went downstairs to the warehouse and found the box where Ezekiel was hiding. Gwen took out her cellphone and called Ezekiel, who doesn't know Gwen is down there. "Zeek where are you? Trent said we're supposed to meet here." Gwen said. When Ezekiel said where he is and why, Gwen put on a fake surprised face while also seeing a box struggling to move. " Oh my gosh! That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier! I just don't know what some of the people in, like, accounting are going to do? It said specifically that…"

At the birthday, everyone except Chris was confused about the birthday party. "This party hasn't been stale since mine last year." Stanley remarked to some of the office workers.

"I hear you. Even though Heather plans these stuffs, Chris got the final say on this party." Beth said.

"I just don't know why he would make this time to celebrate my birthday." Meredith said while looking at Chris having fun. "He's probably gonna make this a friar's club type party just for excuse to talk s[bleep]t about us."

On the warehouse, Ezekiel finally escaped from the box and was surprised to find no one from upstairs besides him wasn't in there. He looked around and saw an African-American warehouse worker staring at Ezekiel as if he's not into his little stakeout. Ezekiel just quietly waved to him and went back upstairs.

* * *

 _ ***Warehouse worker with the name tag "Devon Joseph"'s Confession***_

I've been running this warehouse for almost 2 years. And everyday, I fear that one of Chris' crew might hurt us badly due to their antics. What I saw earlier is basically just a normal day in the warehouse.

* * *

While the party's going underway, Chris announced it's time to give Meredith her birthday card. Gwen gave it to her and Meredith read what everyone wrote.

"Meredith, good news. You're not actually a year older because you work here, where time stands still." Meredith read out loud and everyone laughed. "Nice joke there, Stanley."

"Not even trying there." Chris said under his breath.

"This one's from Gwen. 'Meredith happy birthday. You're basically like the cool aunt I never had'."

While everyone clapped, Chris just gagged. "Too sappy." Chris remarked.

"And this one's from Michael 'Meredith, let's hope the only downsizing that happens to you is that someone downsizes your age.'"

After Meredith read it, the whole room fell into silent. Chris, on the other hand, was the only one laughing. He stopped laughing once he saw everyone giving him a cold stare. "Come on! It's just a joke." Chris told everyone. "Because, you know, the downsizing rumors. And because you're getting older."

"Yeah I… get it." Meredith said, not knowing how to make of it.

Chris laughed again, but everyone still stared at him in disgust of the joke, which made him turn serious."You're right. That joke was cruel. I probably shouldn't mention downsizing in such a happy time like a birthday party." Chris said "And just for that, I'm going donate $30 to a charity of not just Meredith's, but everyone's charity of choice." Chris said. Everyone agreed in silent and went back to what they were doing.

After the party was over, Trent and Gwen were having a laugh about the prank they pulled on Ezekiel. "OK, OK. I think I just pulled something that's better than being trapped in a box." Trent said.

"What is it?" Gwen asked.

"I just convinced Ezekiel that maybe he should go to Stamford and spy on them." Gwen started to laugh really hard. "And before he left, I told him he should dye his hair to go undercover."

"Wow! We should've been there and bring a camera for this."

Just as Trent and Gwen were sharing a laugh, they stopped once Roy entered. "What are you doing, Halpert?! Are you trying to steal my girl?!" Roy yelled at Trent.

"No no no no! That's not what it looks like!" Trent panic.

"My eyes didn't lie, and I see that you are."

"NO! Roy stop!" Gwen told Roy.

When Roy backed off, Trent calmed himself to explain himself. "Alright. Ezekiel told me to be in the alliance. And um… we were… just pulling a prank on him."

"It's just a stupid office prank." Gwen said and Trent nodded in agreement.

"An alliance? What the hell is he talking about?" Roy asked Ezekiel, who was standing behind a potted plant.

"I don't know what he's talking about." Ezekiel said in an obvious fake innocent tone. Trent was shocked when he heard what Ezekiel said. Too angry to care, he and Gwen left the office leaving Trent embarrassed and scared from Roy.

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel's Confession***_

(Camera zooms very close on Ezekiel's face)

Do I feel bad about betraying Jim? Not at all. That's the game. Convince him we're in an alliance, get some information, throw him to the wolves.

(Camera zooms out revealing Ezekiel has dyed hair)

That's politics baby. Get what you can out of someone, then crush them. I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson.

* * *

While everyone was cleaning the office up once the party was over, Gerry was having a conversation with Cody and found a surprising revelation about him. "Really? So your birthday was today?" Gerry asked

"That's right." Cody replied.

"Oh I could've told Dwayne or Chris about it."

Cody then got uncomfortable. "Um… I think it would be best if you don't tell them after what just happened."

"Yeah you're probably right." Gerry said and the two continued cleaning up.

* * *

 **And that's the end of the season 1 episodes. Next week, I'll be starting the episodes from season 2.**


	3. Episode 3: The Dundies

**Synopsis: Chris is excited to the hold the annual Dundie Awards, but none of the office is looking forward to it.**

* * *

 **Episode 3: The Dundies**

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

Tonight is the Dundies. The annual employee awards night here in Dunder Drama. (Holds up a trophy) And this is everybody's favorite day.

Everybody looks forward to it because a lot of the people here don't get trophies. Like Meredith or Owen. I mean what are the odds that Owen would win real awards like a 100 grand?

Plus, it's gonna be really really funny. So an employee would go home and tell his or her neighbor "Hey did you win an award?". And the neighbor would say "No way. I mean I worked day and night and nobody gives me trophies. And the employee would hear the neighbor's loud crying while going to sleep.

* * *

In the front desk, Trent and Gwen have their usual conversation despite what happened with Roy. "So are you ready for the Dundies?" Trent jokingly asked.

Gwen groaned. "I'd rather stay here working than go to the Dundies."

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confession***_

You know what they say about a car wreck, where it's so awful you can't look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.

* * *

Their conversation was soon interrupted when Chris goes to the front desk. "Watch out everyone! The Trent Train has arrived on time." Chris said in a funny voice, but the Trent and Gwen didn't laugh before Chris turned his attention to the camera. "So why don't I take you to past Dundie winners. We have Trent Halpert here. Trent, why don't you show your Dundies to the camera."

"Oh I can't because I keep them hidden. I don't want to look at them and get cocky."

Chris looked a little bit disappointed while Trent looks at the camera. "Well that's a great idea."

"Mine are at home in a display case above my bed." Ezekiel interrupted and Chris groaned.

"T.M.I., my friends! T.M.I.!"

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

T.M.I.? Too much information. Just easier to say T.M.I. Used to say "Don't go there", but that was… lame.

* * *

Chris then goes to Beth and Stanley's desk. "And here we have Stanley the Manly. Now Stanley is a Dundie all-star, aren't you Stan? Why don't you, ah, show them some of your bling."

"I don't know where they are. I think I threw them out."

Chris laughed at what Stanley said. "Okay Stanley. You can stop joking and show them your awards."

"I think I did."

"Wha… why did you-" Chris was then interrupted when Stanley changed the subject.

"Say, we got to order some more appetizers this time. We ran out last year, remember?"

"Well… yes I think we should." Chris happily replied. "I requested the venue for tonight that we should bring a chocolate fondue fountain for desert. And I hope this time someone doesn't eat them all." Chris said while giving a glaring stare at Owen who doesn't know what was happening.

At the conference room, Pam was watching old video tapes of last year's Dundie Award ceremony. "To Justin Hale, it's the 'Show Me the Money' award!" Chris said from the video tape.

"Chris has taped every Dundies awards and now, he's making me look through hours of footage to find highlights." Gwen said to the camera crew. Gwen then watched the part where Chris badly sings "Mambo No. 5" with Ezekiel playing a recorder before someone blocked the camera's view of Chris. "Oh, this is the part where Owen sat in front of the camera all night. It's a more welcome view than seeing Chris embarrass himself." Gwen laughed. Gwen then looked at Trent where he's at his desk and he laughed along with Gwen.

The camera crew then went to Chris at his office where he has Jan on speaker phone. "Will her highness, Jan Levinson-Gould, be descending from her corporate throne this evening to visit us lowly serfs here at Dunder Drama Scranton?" Chris remarked.

"It's a two and half hour drive from New York, Chris."

"Well you could take the bus. You could work on the way there and sleep on the way home."

"I'm still saying no."

"What? Come on, Jan! This is important. This is the validation to me and my employees that you and corporate approve of this so-"

"We don't approve of this, Chris. You know that we only gave enough budget to have one office party a year. We're not going to pay for it."

Chris then changed his mood significantly before he told the camera crew to leave and closed the blinds of his office, but he didn't know that his mic was still turned on. "Come on Jan! You putting a knife in my heart!" Chris said while the camera showed the view of Chris' closed door office.

"You had a party on May 5th for no reason." Jan said.

"No reason? It's the 05 05 05 celebration."

"And there's that fundraiser to raise money for the tsunami relief which somehow you lost more money."

"Come on, it was a 'FUN' raiser! I think emphasized the word 'fun' on the flyers."

"Face it Chris. We're not going to fund this party." Jan then hanged up on Chris while Chris just put his hand on his face.

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

(wearing a turban hat and holding an envelope)

This is a character I always do on the Dundies. It's heavily based on Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent. (holds the envelope on the turban)

A port-a-potty, a junkyard, and Mordor.

(Rips the side on the envelope, blows it, and reads the card)

"Name three places that have better healthcare coverage than Dunder Drama".

* * *

Back in the conference room, Gwen was still watching old tapes of the Dundies. "And the 'Longest Engagement' award goes to Gwendolyn Beesley!" Chris announced from the video tape.

Gwen and Trent on the tape annoyed when that award was announced while Roy got up and accepted on her behalf. Present day Gwen, on the other hand, looked at the camera and felt embarrassed by the award. Trent overhead and saw Gwen's expression from his desk that he went to Chris' office where he told Chris to change the "Longest Engagement" award.

"I'm not changing it. That's the best part."

"No, you're right. It is hilarious." Trent lied. "I just think, um, "world's longest engagement", um, we're all expecting it, you know?"

"That's why it's funny. Every year that Roy and Gwen don't get married, it gets funnier.

"Well I think if you use the same jokes it just comes across as lazy."

Chris nodded slowly and smiled at Trent. "Oh… 'lazy'. Now I get you."

Trent and Chris went to the office when Chris was about to make an announcement. "Attention everyone!" Chris said which made everyone stopped working. "I would like to say something regarding tonights Dundies."

"Okay, but can I just tell everyone the directions for tonight's venue." Ezekiel interrupted.

"Not now Zeek."

"But it's really important that I-"

"I said shut it!" Chris shouted. "Okay, look, I know there have been a lot of rumors flying around about the Dundies this year. How there is no money, and how there is no food, and how the jokes are really bad. But what the hell everybody!? I mean, God. The Dundies are about the best, in every, one of us. Can't you see that? I mean, okay, we can do better. so, tonight, for the first time, we are inviting all of your friends and family to attend the awards with us." When Chris said that, everyone began to murmur in agreement. "Alright! Let's make this best Dundies ever."

Ezekiel clapped just as Chris ended. "You heard from the man, people. Let's make this the best Dundies ever." Ezekiel said.

By the at 5 o'clock, all of the employees drove to a local Sizzlers' to attend the Dundie Awards. Chris reserved multiple tables in hours advanced for his employees to sit. All of the employees, besides Chris, were wearing their usual work clothes for the ceremony since they didn't find it to be too important. Anyone who had families living with them brought theirs' to the event while others, like Trent and Ezekiel, just went alone.

Trent greeted Gwen, who's attending with Roy, and the warehouse handler when they arrived. "Hey, DJ! So glad you can make it." Trent said and high fived DJ.

"Yeah, I would've just stayed home tonight. But I'm pretty sure Chris will dock our pay if we didn't attend." DJ said.

"I hear ya. So, Gwen, do you think Chris will do the same old routine in between the awards?"

Gwen shrugged. "Maybe. Chris always thinks his jokes are too important to be thrown out."

Everyone from Dunder Drama stopped talking as soon as Ezekiel, seated behind an electronic keyboards, tapped on the microphone. "Welcome to the 8th Annual Dundie Awards." Ezekiel announced. "Before I start the awards, I would like to point out that the only rule Chris wants you to remember is people should keep the alcohol consumption at a two drink minimum." Ezekiel said and everyone just agreed with it. "Also, keep your speeches short. I have wrap up music and I'm not afraid to use it. I'm looking at you, Gerry!" Ezekiel pointed at Gerry, but Gerry ignored him. "Now put your hands together for your wonderful host! The Great Chris McClean!"

Ezekiel held his arm as Chris ran to a small stage and bowed to everyone in the audience. Chris then read his opening monologue through a cue card with Cody holding the giant cards from the back. "The Dundies, how can I explain it? Awards you like to hate." Chris joked but no one laughed. "I'm psyched you all made it. You never had to work so hard and feel that no one notices you. You're just a name and number and no one even says hello. And… Card!" Chris yelled at Cody and changed the card for Chris to read.

* * *

 _ ***Justin's Confessional (from his table at Sizzler's)***_

The Dundies are kind of like a kid's birthday party, and you go, and there's really nothing for you to do there. But the kid's having a really good time, so you're, kind of there. That's-that's kind of what it's like.

* * *

"So, anyone see the movie _Chicago_?" Chris told the audience, and mostly everyone from his office raised their hands.

"Well, I've been to the real Chicago. And let me tell you, it's exactly like that in movie, except with all the singing and dancing."

"Actually, Chicago has a great theatre community like New York… based on my research." Ezekiel interrupted.

"No, that's…for the sake of the story, Zeek." An annoyed Chris told Ezekiel. "And I found this girl that's the same as Renee Zellweger's character."

"Yeah?" A curious Ezekiel asked.

"And when we meet, there's one thing that surprised me."

"That she wanted to sing?" Ezekiel asked.

"Yes. No! God! Thanks Ezekiel, now you ruined the joke!" Chris quietly shouted before turning back to the audience. "Okay, let's get to the awards."

On Gwen's table, DJ and Roy were already not interested in the ceremony. "Hey, wanna sneak out and go drink at Juggy Chunks pub?" DJ asked Gwen and Roy.

"Yeah, let's get out of here." Roy said.

"But…" Gwen said before Chris noticed DJ and Roy getting up.

"Hey guys, where are you going? Gwen, the show's getting started." Chris said.

"Sorry." Gwen quietly said and followed Roy.

Cody noticed them leaving and feel like he wanted to leave also. "So… you're staying?" Cody asked Trent.

"Yep. Gonna eat somewhere." Trent replied.

Even though a couple of employees left, Chris continued the awards. "Our first award of the night goes to Beth Lapin for 'Most Grandeur Work'!"

Beth got up to receive her trophy, but was disappointed with what was written. "Wait, this says 'Most Grandma Work'." Beth said.

"I told the shop it's… gaaaaaahhhhhhh! Okay, never mind about that. Just get back to your seat."

The camera then cuts to the Sizzler parking where they saw Gwen and Roy arguing. Though they couldn't get a coherent sound most of the time, they heard that Gwen was angry with Roy because she mostly doesn't have a say in any decisions. Unable to persuade him to stay, Gwen decided to go back inside and stay.

Gwen then seated with Trent when Chris was doing a routine as another character. "Hey, I thought you left." Trent said to Gwen.

"Oh no, I just decided to stay. "I'll just get a ride home from Heather." Gwen said while trying to hold her anger from Roy. Gwen got a little bit happy just when she saw Chris performing. "Oh good, just in time for celebrity impressions. God, I need a drink!"

Chris went back to his "suit" as Ezekiel put on a funky music from the stereo. "This next award goes to somebody, who really, lights up the office. And the 'Hottest in the Office' goes to… Cody the Temp!" Gwen was surprisingly happy when Chris announced the winner, while Cody feels embarrassed. Chris was singing just as Cody got up to get his trophy.

* * *

 _ ***Cody's Confession (from the waiting room at Sizzlers')***_

What am I going to do with the award? (shakes his head and sighs) Nothing. I-I don't know what I'm going to do. That's the least of my...concerns right now.

* * *

As half the awards were handed out, the employees were starting to getting tired. "And our new 'Mean Girl' award goes to Heather!" Chris announced, but Heather wasn't happy about it. "Eat your heart out, Regina George! Come on, Heather. Come and get your award."

"No." Heather said and Chris just decided to move along.

On Trent and Gwen's table, the two seem to be the only ones who were enjoying the ceremony. Gwen already finished two drinks of martinis, but still continued to drink her second one. "Um… I think that glass is empty." Trent said.

"Oh no. Cause the ice melts and then it's like a second drink." Gwen said just as Chris announced the next award.

"And the 'Most Festive' worker goes to Sierra Aguilar!" Chris announced.

When Sierra got her trophy, she was confused by it. "Um… why is it a bowler trophy?" Sierra asked.

"They ran out of business trophies. Just… get back to your seat."

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession (behind the counter)***_

(Sweating and drinking a bottle of water)

It's a tough crowd out there. Now I know how Chevy Chase felt when he hosted his late night show. I got Ezekiel who is sucking up all the fun out of the place, but what can you do? And I just heard the music so it means it's my cue.

* * *

When Chris got back on stage, he was singing off key to Elton John's "Tiny Dancer". "You have won a tiny dundie." Chris sang in an exhausted and off key way.

"Sing it Elton!" A heckler told Chris.

"Thanks guys." Chris said.

When Chris was dealing with the hecklers, Gwen still wants another drink, but couldn't get another due to a policy. "Hey are you guys going finish that?" Gwen asked Stanley and his wife, whose table was next Gwen and Trent's. The Hudsons didn't mind and just let Gwen take their drinks.

Feeling defeated from the hecklers, Chris decided to end the ceremony early. "Okay… our last award goes to Owen Malone for 'Fowl Hungry Hippo'." A very tired Chris said.

"Um… what does it mean?" Owen asked.

"It means you eat and fart a lot." Ezekiel said from where he was standing,

Owen didn't care about what award he had and hugged Chris, but the host didn't mind it. "Thanks Owen. I really needed it right now. Alright… that's the end of the Dundie Awards so…"

"More Dundies!" Gwen shouted. "Dundies! Dundies! Dundies!" Gwen chanted before Trent, and then everyone, joined in.

When he heard everyone chanting, Chris enthusiasm went back. "Okay! This next award goes to Stanley Hudson for the 'Fine Work Award'."

"Fine work Stanley!" Gwen shouted just as Stanley received his trophy. "Speech!" Gwen shouted. "Speech! Speech! Speech!"

"Well…I didn't know what to say except… I didn't get smelliest fart like Owen." Stanley said, but Owen just laughed it off.

"And our final award goes to Gwen Beesley." Chris said. When Gwen heard her name, her excitement went away as she knew what she was about to get. "I think you all know what Gwen wins this year." Trent too was feeling scared when Chris was about to announced the category. "It's the… 'MVP' award! Because she was always there when the office needed her."

Gwen's face was glowing when she heard the award. She got up to received the award and Chris gave her the mic for a speech. "Okay first off, I would like to thank the telephone on my desk for getting me here." Gwen said and everyone applauded. "And let's give a round of applause for Chris McClean for MC-ing another great Dundies. And… let's just say… this is the longest I've ever smiled in a long time. WHOOOOOO!" When she finished, Gwen ran back and hugged Trent.

* * *

 _ ***Trent and Gwen's Confession* (in their table)**_

Trent: We got to see a lot of "celebrities". (Gwen nods) And we learned of Chris' true feelings for Cody. (Gwen nods) Which was touching. And, we heard Michael change the lyrics to a number of classic songs. (Gwen nods) Which for me, has ruined them for life. (looks at Gwen, who is staring nodding). Was it fun as well?

Gwen: Yeah it was… um.

Trent: (concerned) What is it?

Gwen: I'm sorry, I just need to. (runs to the restroom)

* * *

While Sierra and Beth went to the restroom to see if Gwen's okay, Chris wrapped up the ceremony by singing "Time of Our Lives" with reworked lyrics. When he was done, everyone clapped and Chris bowed. "Thank you that was the Dundie Awards. I'll see you all next year, good night!"

When Chris finished, Ezekiel took the microphone to make an announcement. "Please note to all winners. If you lose your trophy tonight, it's not our responsibility anymore. If left behind, it's the property of the Sizzlers' Scranton now." Ezekiel said but everyone ignored him as always.

When Gwen got out of the restroom, she was feeling okay and also in the same mood as she made her speech.

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confession* (outside the restaurant)**_

(Trent follows her and Gwen runs to the camera)

I just wanted to say that it was the best Dundies ever! Whoo!

(Camera cuts to scenes to Gwen hugging every co-worker as they left)

* * *

 _ ***A Sizzlers employee's confession***_

We have a strict policy here not to over serve. Apparently, this young woman was sneaking drinks off other people's tables. I Xeroxed her driver's license and she is not welcome to this restaurant chain ever again.

* * *

Trent helped Gwen to Heather's car, which she agreed. "Are you sure you're okay with driving her?" Trent asked Heather.

"Don't worry. I'll get her to home perfectly fine." Heather reassured Trent.

Trent was about to leave when he heard Gwen say his name "Hey, can I just tell you something?" Gwen asked.

"Shoot."

"Um… I just wanted say thanks."

Trent smiled. "You're welcome. Now get on home you need some rest. Oh and thanks again Heather." Trent said just as Heather's car left.

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession* (outside the restaurant)**_

Was this the best Dundies ever? Well let's see, I got Gwen happy. Which is probably the first in a long time. I got a lot of my employees happy. So I say it's a yes. This was the best Dundies ever.


	4. Episode 4: Halloween

**Hey everyone. Sorry that I uploaded this so late since I was too busy over the last month, but I'm continuing with this story.**

* * *

 **Synopsis: It's Halloween, and Chris has to face once and for all the most scary and most grueling creation known to him: downsizing.**

 **Episode 4: Office Halloween**

In Dunder Drama Scranton, everyone enjoys Halloween because they get to wear costumes all day. Some wore something creative or simple and some wore something that was popular at the time. But there are a few others, specifically Trent, who wore very little costumes cause they didn't have the spirit of Halloween like the others.

"Happy Halloween everyone!" Chris said just as he entered the office.

"Happy Halloween, Chris." Gwen, dressed as a cat, said.

"Great costume by the way." He told Gwen. "Well, I'm gonna be in my office to get my costume ready."

Gwen stopped Chris just so she could deliver one important message. "I'm sorry I'm ruining your Halloween spirit but… Jan called." Gwen said. Chris stood frozen and he knew why Jan needed to talk to him.

"I know why she's calling. It's the end of the month, and I was supposed to let somebody go by the end of the month." Chris told the camera just as he sat down in his desk. "And I thought I was getting some sort of day off from corporate because it's a holiday." Chris called Jan's work phone and got through her secretary on speaker phone. "Hey Sherri, it's Chris. Is Jan in there?"

"No she's in a meeting, but all she just wanted the name of just one person you're going to let go." Jan's secretary told Chris.

Chris sighed deeply. "Okay it's still hard for me to fire just one person because that person is gonna lose respect to me."

"I… just needed of who you are letting go."

Chris was silent and sighed again. "Alright, I'll give you the name by the end of day."

"All Jan wanted is a name."

"I know. I'll give it to her thanks, Sherri." Chris said and groaned. "Gahhh! I wish that I could fire Sherri."

"I can still hear you, Chris." Jan's secretary said on the phone.

"Oops sorry about that. Bye Sherri." Chris said and ended his phone call.

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

(camera zooms in on Michael's face)

I mean you hear about layoffs in the news, but when you actually have to do it yourself, it is heavy stuff.

(camera zooms out revealing a hand made head of Chris taped to his right shoulder)

It's... these are people's lives you're talking about.

* * *

"You wanted to see me?" Gwen said as she entered Chris' office.

"Yes, the person I needed." Chris said and pointed to his fake head.

"Papier-mâché?" Gwen asked.

"Yes it is. But anyway Gwen. Jan wanted me to let somebody go today. This is the hardest thing I ever had to do."

"So why did you have to wait til Halloween?"

"Because it's scary stuff. Downsizing is scary for people."

"I think that will make today's Halloween party."

"You're worried about the party? A man's life is at stake."

"So it's a man?"

"No. Or a woman. Or a human life. If you had to guess, who it would be based on their job performance... and who you think deserved to be fired who?"

"I just answer the phone, Chris."

"And you just let it go to voice mail."

Gwen stood silent for a few seconds as she couldn't stop staring at the fake head. "You're costume looks great." Gwen laughed.

"I know. Took me all night just to get the smile right."

In Trent and Ezekiel's desk, Ezekiel, who wore long black robe, was confused by Trent's costume. "Okay, what is that? What are you suppose to be?" Ezekiel asked.

"Oh I'm a three hole punch version of Trent" Trent, who had three black dots taped on his work clothes, told Ezekiel. "Cause you can have me either way. Plain white Trent, or three hole punched."

"I think that's fun." Beth told Trent.

Ezekiel scoffed at Beth's compliments. "Yeah look at my costume." Ezekiel put on a hood and showed his lightsaber to Beth. "Well? What do you think?"

"What are you suppose to be? A warlock?" Beth asked.

"I'm… I'm a Sith Lord." Ezekiel said which made Beth ignore him and Trent laughed at Ezekiel for trying too hard. "Oh big deal, Trent. Three round dots and suddenly you won a costume contest. Also you, Beth. Just a tiara and fairy wings? My costume cost $130."

"Asshole." Beth called Ezekiel.

Later, Chris visited the accountants desk to look over the budget. "Hey, are you guys excited about the party?" Chris asked them and all three said yes. "Hey, Dunder Man! Very imaginative. Owen." Chris said. Owen, who wore a Mr. Incredible costume with the Dunder Drama logo taped at the center, gave a thumbs up to Chris.

"Nice disco suit, Heather." Chris told Heather but didn't say anything.

"Wow, Justin. That astronaut suit looks really cool."

"Actually, I had to borrow it from my cousin who's actually is an astronaut." Justin said.

"And that's why I love above Halloween. You can be anything you want without being creative." Chris told the camera. "So anyway, do we have any Halloween decorations in the office?"

"I don't know. We put them up last night." Heather said. The camera cuts to the office the night before where the janitor vacuumed the cob webs thinking they were real.

"Okay. Just buy some more during lunch break. I'll approve the overages." Chris sighed. Chris was about until he remember he was supposed to ask something important. "Oh, by the way, I'm going to need you to find, like a, a full employee salary, plus benefits, like fifty grand. I'm going to need you to find 50 grand in the numbers."

"But we don't keep two sets of books." Heather corrected Chris.

"Just… do it. Like your lives depended on it."

On the break room, Cody, who didn't wore a costume, was impressed by Sierra's costume. "Hey nice take on Dorothy." Cody said.

"Thanks, Cody." Sierra said, who tried to conceal her squeal that Cody talked to her.

"You know what would be great? If the costume was all black."

Sierra was confused. "I.. don't know what you mean."

"You know? Wicked?"

"Oh, you mean that musical about the Wicked Witch of the West?"

"Yeah. Wicked is the whole thing around the theatre community right now."

"Well I guess I could paint myself green cause I look good with green."

Meanwhile, Trent and Gwen were having a conversation until Ezekiel came and interrupted them. "What were you suppose to be again? Oh that's right. Three hole PUNCH!" Ezekiel said and air punches Trent's holes and cracked up laughing.

Minutes later, Trent and Gwen were at the computer trying to think of ways to get back at Ezekiel. "Okay, Zeek's greatest strength." Gwen said. "A strong dog-like obedience to authority."

"That's good, put it in there." Trent said.

"Yeah, but that doesn't sound too 'professional' though'."

"You're right. How about 'strong team player'?" Gwen and Trent laughed knowing that Ezekiel wasn't that much of a team player. "Okay, what about his weaknesses?"

"Um… probably obsessed with Beets?"

"Like beating people in his game of 'wits'?" Gwen said and the two laughed again.

* * *

 _ ***Trent's Confession***_

Ezekiel is... special. But, I don't believe that his talents are being used in this office. So Gwen and I have put his resume on , Google, Craig's List. We're really interested most in jobs that take Dwight out of state. Um, preferably Alaska... or Greenland.

* * *

On the accountants, they were still confused by Chris' direction of looking at the employee's salary. "Well I look at the budgets." Heather told her co-workers "And there's one department…"

"Yes?" Justin said.

"…that has three people…."

"Yeah?"

"…doing the work that could be done by three people."

Justin agree with Heather's assessment. "Well that's great. What department is it?" Justin said. Heather shook her head to the direction where Owen sits. "Oh! Now I get it."

"Yeah, Justin. 'Oh'." Owen said not knowing that Heather meant him in a negative light.

In Chris' office, Chris held a small meeting with Ezekiel about the firing. "Who do you think it should be?" Chris asked.

"Trent. Definitely Trent." Ezekiel said without hesitation.

"No. Trent's popular with the clients."

"Beth."

Chris seemed indifferent about it. "Eh, I don't know."

"Stanley, Gwen, Justin, the temp guy, Meredith, Owen…"

* * *

 _ ***Chris' Confession***_

Firing a person at work is not a popularity contest. Although if it were, I would have some bonfire ceremony and have everyone here write down a name of who they want out.

* * *

"…One of the warehouse guys."

Just as Ezekiel finished listing everyone in the office, Chris turned to his fake papier-mâché head and thought of something. "What? There's someone left off that list? Who?" Chris asked his fake head in a sarcastic tone.

"Who? What is he saying?" Ezekiel asked.

"You're right. I didn't think of him."

Suddenly, Ezekiel knew what Chris was thinking and began to worry. "No, Chris."

"Yeah, that's actually a good idea."

"Not. Ezekiel."

"I'm not saying it. My twin is saying it."

"That's what you are saying."

Chris raised his right should to "listen" to some more. "What? That's not a very nice thing to say."

Ezekiel grinned his teeth. "Tell him to stop."

"Though I agree. He'll land on his feet."

At the conference room, Angela and Gwen were preparing for the Halloween party at the last minute. "Those aren't chips and dip." Heather told Gwen.

"I made brownies."

"Oh. Okay."

"What?" Gwen asked.

"I'm just trying to figure out why you're sabotaging things."

"But I made brownies."

"And I made cookies. Same category."

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confession***_

I'm guessing whenever someone trick or treats at Heather's house, she just gives out a mini self-made book about why she's always right.

* * *

Minutes later, Gwen went back to her desk to answer her phone. "Dunder Drama, this is Gwen." She told the caller. "Oh, okay. I'll just transfer you to our manager, Chris McClean." In reality, Gwen transferred the caller to Trent as the caller who was interested in the fake resume Gwen and Trent made for Ezekiel.

When Trent's phone rang, he took a deep breath to prepare what he's going to say. "Chris McClean here. Yes I am the regional manager of this 'orfice'." Trent said in a faux professional tone and Gwen laughed. "I just want to say that Ezekiel Schrute is the best. Yeah. No, he is actually the single greatest employee of his generation. Mm hmm. You know what? I'm gonna tell you what. You hire Ezekiel K. Schrute, and if he does not meet, nay, exceed every one of your wildest expectations, well then, you can hold me, Christopher Gary McClean, personally and financially responsible. Okay. Okay. Okay-kay-kay-kay-kay. Okay." Trent ended his phone call in a Muppet voice and air high fived with Gwen.

Later, Chris told Ezekiel to tell Stanley something important. "Stanley would you come with me please?" Ezekiel asked.

"No I will not." Stanley told him.

Ezekiel stopped Stanley's phone call so he could talk to him. "As Assistant Regional Manager."

"To the." Stanley corrected him.

"Look. I've got bad news for you. You're fired. You need to pack up your things and go." Ezekiel said, but Stanley laughed. "I'm serious."

"You're cute when you said 'You're fired'. Now get your fingers off my phone."

Disappointed, Ezekiel went back to Chris' office where Chris was waiting for him. "So how did it go with Stanley? How did he take it." Chris asked.

"He wouldn't listen to me." Ezekiel said and Chris was disappointed.

"If you're gonna fire him. Just tell him yourself." "I will not fire Stanley. I did not say that. I'm certainly not gonna do it myself." Chris told the cameras. "Now get those beady eyes off of me Zeek."

When Ezekiel got back from his desk, he got a phone call from one of the companies that read his "resume". "Cumberland Mills?! And how did you get my resume?" A confused Ezekiel asked. "Oh no, no. I'm very flattered. Don't get me wrong. I'm just not sure that it's my official resume or if it's something that maybe a satisfied customer posted online. What does it say under martial arts training? Oh. Okay, I'm gonna have to supplement that. Could I have your fax number?"

* * *

 _ ***Ezekiel's Confession***_

Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm getting paid for here is my loyalty. But, if there were somewhere else that valued that loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most.

* * *

"So you got the fax? So why didn't you add it to the res... ? What do you mean? Of course martial arts training is relevant. Oh, excuse me! I think my training would be better security than your run of the mill cameras!" Ezekiel shouted at his phone. "Uh, yeah, I get a little frustrated when I'm dealing with incompetence. Well, you know what? Have fun getting robbed because I will be there laughing. But uh, let me know when you made your descio-" the company hung up and Ezekiel slammed his phone.

While Ezekiel was having his phone call, Gwen and Trent were listening to it the entire time through the front desk.

* * *

 _ ***Gwen's Confession***_

Trent is really talented. And he should be the one who's getting a better job offer.

(few seconds of silent)

I'm very serious.

* * *

"Don't take this the wrong way but… you should be the one taking the job." Gwen told Trent.

"Um… it's in Maryland."

"Yeah, but the salary's good. And it's a step up from Chris."

"Okay. You know what. Maybe I'll consider it." Trent said which left Gwen a little worried that he'll leave the office.

Meanwhile, Ezekiel was standing in front of Chris' office with the camera crew behind him. "This is called a leveraging offer." Ezekiel told the camera crew and entered Chris' office with Chris still struggling on who to fire. "Chris, can I talk with you for a moment." Ezekiel asked him.

"What is it now?" Chris said with his hand covering his face.

"I just thought you should know that I was just offered a job with better pay, better benefits and a better title at Cumberland Mills."

Chris seemed to be really happy by what Ezekiel said. "That is great!"

"And I turned it down." Ezekiel said and Chris was left disappointed.

"What?! Oh that would've solved all my problems!"

"Out of loyalty to the company…"

"Oh you idiot!"

Ezekiel then made eye contact to camera crew outside Chris' office. "… so I can be Regional Manager completely."

"If you left, I wouldn't have fired anyone."

"But… then you wouldn't have me here."

"Oh big deal! It could've worked out so well. But… can you still call them back right?"

Ezekiel began to stutter. "I think… I coulda… no. They never made me an offer anyway."

Chris started to wail. "Why are you torturing me?!" Chris shouted.

* * *

 _ ***Trent's Confession***_

"Honestly, I don't think Chris has the slightest clue of who he's gonna fire. I think he keeps hoping that someone's going to volunteer. Uh, or be mauled by a bear before the deadline. But in the end, really, what's going to happen is it's gonna be the first person to give him a dirty look in the hall. And therein lies the true essence of his charisma."

Trent's confession was then interrupted when he heard Chris clearing his throat and was standing at the door of the conference room. "Um… Trent can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Uh… yeah." A confused Trent replied.

When Gwen saw Trent following Chris to his office, she was thinking that Trent might be the one who would get the axe. It didn't help when she saw Ezekiel looking at Trent as well. Ezekiel looked at Gwen and gave satisfactory smile as he won the war against Trent and also raising his costume's hood making him look like the actual Darth Sidious.

* * *

But when the camera switched to Chris' office, it was revealed that Chris actually needed to Trent for advice. "Chris, I didn't mean to-" Trent said before Chris interrupted him.

"Help. Me." Chris said with his hands on his face.

Trent is confused. "I'm… I'm sorry?"

"I want you to pretend that you're the manager. Pretend that you are firing me."

"So you want me to be you?"

"Yes. You'll play me and I'll play Izzy."

Trent is confused and surprised at the same time. "Wait, you're firing Izzy?!"

"No. No. She was the first person…that… popped into my head."

Trent sighed. "Okay. So, Izzy. I'm sorry to say this, but I have to let you go. It's not anything personal, but-"

Trent was interrupted when Chris threw a fit. "I HATE MY LIFE!"

"Wow." Trent said while he looked at the camera.

"I'm gonna be living under a cardboard box! And it's gonna be your fault!"

"Okay first of all, that's not how Izzy acts."

"I'm just improvising." Chris said in his normal self.

"And second of all. You gotta tell someone by yourself. Not me." Trent said and went to the door.

"Wait, Trent. I-" Chris called before being cut off by Trent closing the door.

As soon as Trent walked out of Chris' office, he was stopped by Gwen"So how did it go?" Gwen asked.

"It wasn't me."

Gwen gave a sigh of relief. "Oh good. Because I was all like-" Gwen stopped talking when Trent left to go back to his desk.

Chris slowly walked out of his office and looked at Ezekiel's direction. "Izzy."

"Yeah." Izzy, who wore the Bride of Frankenstein as her costume, replied back.

"Can I talk to you in my office?"

"Sure thing." Izzy said not knowing what's going to happen and followed Chris into his office.

When Chris sat down, he gave a big sigh. "You are great and have a very wild card personality." Chris said.

"That what everyone loves me for." Izzy said with a big smile on her face.

"But there are times when a baby bird needs to fly off the nest. You get me?"

"No, I don't get-"

"What I'm really saying is… I have to let you go."

"Oh no. You can't do that. I still have some unfinished business in this office." Izzy told Chris while looking at camera as if she's telling the documentary crew a secret. "Let's call Jan and fight this thing like we did in the Revolutionary War."

Chris was confused. "Wha… What do you mean Revolutionary War?"

* * *

 _ ***Izzy's Confession***_

I sort've had this ability where I know who I was a reincarnation of. People think I'm making my ancestors up but they don't know me.

* * *

"Never mind about that. Look Izzy, it's almost quitting time and I have to fire one person."

"Fine. Fire somebody else. Fire Gerry. He's the worst employee. I'm so much better at my job than Gerry. Nobody likes him either."

Chris groaned. "Okay. I'll go with Gerry and he'll be the last my choice."

"Thanks, McClean. You'll not regret this."

Izzy left Chris' office and Chris called Gerry in. Coincidently, Gerry was dressed as a hobo as his Halloween costume. When Chris told Gerry that he was fired, Gerry was angry.

"Izzy's a lunatic, you know that!" Gerry told Michael.

"I know, but I can't go back because I will look like an idiot." "That's why I'm being fired?! So you wouldn't look like an idiot?!"

"No what I'm trying to say is-"

"This is bull[bleep]!" Gerry said and left Chris' office before Chris stopped him from leaving.

"Wait, Gerry! In addition to a severance pay, you will be given a gift certificate to Chili's."

Chris gave Gerry the gift card, but Gerry tore it to pieces. "Owen, Trent, Gwen, Sierra, Dwayne, Justin, Meredith, Beth, Stanley or the temp. If any of you want to meet me for a drink, I will be at Junky Chunks." Gerry announced to the office. "The rest of you can go to hell!"

The people who Gerry named followed him out of the office while Chris, Ezekiel, Izzy and Heather remained. "Wait, what about the Halloween party?" Heather said while people were leaving ignored her.

While Chris was gathering the torn pieces of the gift card, the camera then cut outside to Gerry carrying a pumpkin and threw it at Chris' car, which Chris cleaned up when he left for work. When got home, Chris was very tired as he watched TV in his couch. Chris became happy again when he gave out candy to trick-or-treaters.

* * *

 **And that's the end of the downsizing storyline. I will be updating this story in a snail's pace so I have time to write them.**


	5. Episode 5: Get Together

**Synopsis: Chris feels left out after he stumbles upon an e-mail from one of his employees about a party that his isn't invited to.**

* * *

 **Episode 5: Get Together**

"It is Friday morning and what a beautiful day in Scranton, Pennsylvania!" Chris exclaimed to the camera crew. "The birds are singing. Flowers are blooming. Raccoons digging in the trash. And-" Chris was startled a familiar man walking towards building. He ran outside of his office and ran to the front door to lock it and also. "Alright everybody, don't panic." Chris told everyone at the office.

"Are we in danger?" Trent sarcastically asked.

"There's no time think. Everybody just shhhh!" Chris said.

The man reached to the office and knocked on the door a couple of times. "I already know your trick, Chris. You have to let me in." The man said.

* * *

 ***Chris' Confession***

The I.T. guy and me didn't get off to a great start. And not because he's Italian and I watched too many episodes of The Sopranos.

* * *

After a couple of knocks, Chris gave in and finally let the I.T. guy into the office so he could fix Chris' computer. Before Chris could even get to his office, he was stopped by Ezekiel. "Why is he here?" Ezekiel asked.

"I'm sorry that's confidential."

"But can you at least tell? In case something bad happened to you."

"Nothing bad will happen to me, Zeek." Chris then rolled his sleeve and flexed his arms. "See. I've worked out in the past couple of weeks."

"Yeah, but what if you get a brain aneurysm?"

"I'm won't get a aneurysm, Ezeki-"

"Or get injured by an animal? Fall down a well? Stepped into a land mine? Or…" While Ezekiel kept listing the things Chris might be absent from work, Chris ignored him and slammed the door in front of Ezekiel's face.

* * *

 ***Chris' Confession***

There are certain things a boss does not share with his employees. His salary, that would depress them. His bed. (whispering) No that doesn't make any sense.

And I am not going to tell them that I'll be reading their e-mails.

* * *

Even though Chris hates the I.T. guy, he was amazed by what's he's doing with his computer. "So how do you search specific e-mails?" Chris asked.

"By keyword phrases." The I.T. guy answered.

"Try 'profits'." The I.T. guy started typing but Chris changed his mind. "No wait! Try 'Chris McClean' and 'funny'." The I.T. guy typed what Chris said and he got a result. "Oh wow! That's like magic! Now let's see here. E-mail from Stanley. Oh, very nice guy." Chris told the camera crew. "He wrote 'Sorry I didn't write back sooner; I can't go to the game tonight because my boss Chris is an ass and making me stay late.' Well, Stanley is an ass and a terrible worker." Chris told the camera crew.

When the I.T. guy left the office, Chris casually walked around the office as if everything is normal. Until Justin was suspicious of him. "Hey, Chris why are you spying on our computers?" Justin asked.

"What?! You're just talking crazy talk, Justin." Chris said nervously.

"Well, we just got a memo from I.T. and it says you're doing e-mail surveillance."

"Wha?! That defeats the whole purpose."

"So it's true then. You're doing e-mail surveillance."

Chris looked around the room not knowing what to say before running back to his office.

* * *

 ***Owen's Confession***

I gotta erase a lot of stuff. A lot. Of stuff.

* * *

Ezekiel spent the afternoon telling everyone to delete any personal emails and told everyone the same thing. Except for Heather and told her something like it's some sort of secret. "Oh hey, Heather just to let you know, if you have any 'sensitive' e-mails delete them immediately." Ezekiel told her.

"Agreed." Heather said and the two went back to their respective desks.

While Ezekiel was walking back, the camera caught Gwen's surprised face as if she heard some sort of secret between Ezekiel and Heather. "Hey I just heard something." Gwen whispered to Trent. "Ezekiel just told Heather that she has to delete all of her sensitive e-mails immediately."

"What?!" A surprised Trent whispered.

"I know! But do you think that maybe-"

"No. Not at all."

"Yeah you're right." Gwen said and is immediately disgusted by the mere thought of what she thinks of Ezekiel and Heather.

* * *

 ***Gwen's Confession***

It's like squishing a spider under a book. It's gonna be really gross but I have to look and make sure that it's really dead. Sooo... (turns to the camera crew) If you guys see anything... ?

* * *

When Ezekiel went back to his desk, Gwen went to him to ask him a question. "Hey, Zeek. My friend is in some sort of a love triangle." Gwen asked.

"Shoot." Ezekiel said.

"Okay. One is a nice woman with brunette hair. The other has black hair, but is perky and kinda judgmental. Who do you think he should choose."

"Hmmm, tough one. Does he get to look at their medical records?" Ezekiel asked and Gwen was confused by his answer.

* * *

 ***Ezekiel's Confession***

I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections. There are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we are down river from that old bread factory.

* * *

 ***Chris' Confession***

(continues reading e-mails)

Meredith has an E-vite from Trent. BBQ at Trent's tonight. Tonight? Wonder where my e-vitation is. Click on guest list. Heather, Stanley, Justin, Meredith, Beth, Owen, Izzy. Must be... No.

(turns to the camera crew)

You see. There's always a distance between a boss and the employees. It is just nature's rule. It's intimidation mostly, it's the awareness that they are not me. I do think that I am very approachable, as one of the guys. But maybe I need to be even approachabler.

* * *

In the break room, Trent and Gwen were having lunch with Owen and Heather. And Gwen's still thinking about the secret conversation Heather had with Ezekiel. "So, are you bringing anyone at Trent's party later?" Gwen asked Heather.

Heather became nervous "Uhhh, no. But is it mandatory?"

"No, I was just wondering if you-" Gwen was interrupted when Chris entered the break room.

"Hey, Chris. Are you going to join us for lunch?" Owen said.

"Of course." Chris replied. "Hangin' with my crew, crew that I am one of. Hangin' with my Cup of Noodles. This is a meal in a cup."

Trent was confused by what Chris was saying. "Yep. Very tasty." A confused Trent said.

"Hot, tasty. Reminds me of college. Lived on this stuff. Brain food. Mmmm... You know what I really, really miss about college? The parties. Everybody'd go. The athletes, the, the nerds, professors."

"Do professors go to parties?" Gwen asked.

"Yeah. There were the most fun. We've always invited them." When Chris was done talking, Trent looked at the camera very nervously.

* * *

 ***Trent's Confession***

It's true. I'm having a party. I've got three cases of imported beer, a karaoke machine, and I didn't invite Chris. So three ingredients for a great party. And it's nothing personal, I just think that if he were there, people wouldn't be able to relax, and you know, have fun, and my roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I'm pretty sure he thinks that I'm making Ezekiel up. (sighs) He is very real.

* * *

 ***Pam's Confession (on the reception's desk)***

(camera runs into the reception's desk and tried to get to Gwen's attention)

(Gwen looks up and looks confused) What? What is it?

(Camera quickly pans to Ezekiel, who's eating candy, implying that what Gwen thought is true)

Really?! (camera nodded) Oh yes! Thank you!

* * *

While Trent was working, Ezekiel rolled his chair to Trent's desk to talk about the party. "Question. On the internet, it says there are several options to get to you house. Which on-"

"Uh, Ezekiel, can you keep it dow-" Trent interrupted, but Ezekiel interrupted back.

"Why should I keep quiet?"

"Because no one knows about the party."

"Like who?"

"Ummm… Chris."

Ezekiel was confused. "Chris? You didn't tell your own boss."

"Yeah. I didn't because… it's a surprise party."

Ezekiel doesn't understand it at first, but really liked the plan. "Oh that's perfect. Don't worry, I won't tell Chris."

When Ezekiel is no where in sight, Trent went to the reception's desk to talk about his latest prank with Gwen. "So I told Ezekiel that the party will be a surprise for Chris." Trent said.

"Oh that's great. Maybe we can convince him to hide and wait somewhere."

Gwen and Trent laugh about the idea. "So… is Roy going to be in the party or-"

"No no. He can't make it to the party."

"OK. Cool." Trent said while looking like he felt embarrassed before going back to his desk.

When work finished, Chris tried to follow his employees in the parking lot. "Hey Justin, any plans for tonight?" Chris asked.

"I'm on a call." Justin said while talking on his cellphone.

"Okay." A disappointed Chris said. "Owen my big man! What are you planning tonight? Where are you off to?"

"Ummm… I have to go to the museum… with… my brother… who's a big-"

Chris was uninterested with what Owen has to say before moving to the next employee. "Heather, you seem to be in a rush. What's the hurry?"

"I'm just leaving for the day."

"Well duh. So where are you going."

"Charity. Bake sale." Heather said in a casually manner.

"Liar! You are a liar!" Chris said in a funny voice while Heather got into her car.

"Zeek my old friend. You and I hanging out together. Just the two of us. You know what? Why don't we watch your favorite show, Battleship Galaxy." "Battlestar Galactica." Ezekiel corrected.

"That's… whatever stupid show you want tonight. "

"I can't watch."

Chris was suspicious with Ezekiel. "Why not."

"Because I have soccer practice."

"Oh I didn't know you play soccer, Zeek."

Ezekiel panicked and switched his answer. "Okay, it's oboe." Ezekiel said and Chris accepted it. "Well, good luck with whatever it is you're doing. I'll see you after the weekend." When Chris is no where in sight, Ezekiel laughed and looked at the camera. "He doesn't know about the surprise yet." Ezekiel told the camera crew.

* * *

A couple hours later, everyone from the office, except Chris, turned up at the party at Trent's place. Everyone in the party changed from their work cloths to something casual. The partygoers were mingling with each other until they heard a clinging noise.

"Okay everyone quick announcement." Trent told everyone in the room. "The karaoke machine is hooked up if you want to show your singing skills. Also the beer is available in the back yard. But if you want something more classy, the wine is on the kitchen. And just to let my coworkers know, it's not all for Meredith." Trent joked and everyone laughed.

Suddenly, Ezekiel burst into the room panting. "Seriously Trent?!" Ezekiel said "A hide-a-key rock?! You really must've want your burglarized."

"Hey, you must be Ezekiel." Someone at the party said.

"I'm sorry, but you don't work with us." Ezekiel said.

"That's because he's my roommate." Trent told him.

"I really like your Doc Martins." Trent's roommate told Ezekiel.

Ezekiel put his shoes up just so he could show them to Trent's roommate. "Well thank you. When I bought these, they weren't in the original color they are now. I just paint them that fits the look of a bear warrior."

"Wow. You're exactly what Trent has told me about you."

"Excuse me for a moment." Ezekiel grabbed Trent to the corner and started to have a conversation. "So when's the guest of honor coming?" Ezekiel asked.

"Oh, he's coming later-ish." Trent said.

Ezekiel nodded. "Good. Cause he's gonna love it."

"Great. While you wait, how about have yourself some fun at the party." Trent said and went to a small group consisting of Beth, Cody, and one of the roommates' friend. "Okay just to you guys know that the tour around the house will begin shortly." Trent told the group before being surprised to see Gwen. "Hey Gwen, you made it. Do you want to join the group tour?"

"Definitely." Gwen replied and started the tour.

Meanwhile, another camera crew is at an improv class at a community center where Chris regularly attends after work. "Okay, I need two people for the first scene." The improv teacher said. Everyone raised their hands while Chris was making noises so the teacher could notice him. "Okay, Chris you can go with um Shelly."

The scene started when Chris' partner acts like happy child until Chris started to act like a cop. "Agent Christopher McTough. Put your hands in the air." Chris said and his partner put her hands up.

* * *

 ***Chris' Confession (outside the Improv room at the community center)***

Think about this; what is the most exciting thing that can happen, on TV, or in movies, or in real life? Somebody gets to be the boss. That's why I always start by acting like an authoritative figure, because you can't top it, you just can't.

* * *

The improv went to a different scene where it started off pretty normal like the first scene, until Chris burst into it. "HALT! I am McClean the Grey! And you shall not pass!" Chris said. "I shall now use my staff to shoot lightning on all of you! ZAP! ZAP!" Chris continued to do this to everyone in the room until the improv teacher told Chris to stop.

"You can't just shoot lightning and kill people, Chris." The improv teacher told him.

"Well, if you didn't stop me then you wouldn't know how the scene would end. Also, the scene set up? Boring!" Chris said with the improv teacher shaking his head to the camera in disappointment.

Back in Trent's house, Gwen was looking around a bedroom all by herself. "Trent's bedroom." Gwen told the camera crew.

Gwen continued to look around until Trent walked in. "Ah, I knew that I was missing someone from the group." Trent said.

Gwen started to get more shy with Trent in the room. "So, this is your… desk." Gwen awkwardly said.

"Yeah. It's my home office."

"Your home office?!" Gwen said and Trent nodded. "Wow. You know what, maybe you should sit down just to see the full effect."

"That sounds like a great idea." Trent said and sat down on his desk.

"Okay so you're there. And I'm over here." Gwen sat down on a nightstand and started to pretend she's on the computer. "And maybe Ezekiel should be over…"

"How about we just leave that image out because this is a happy place. A happy place."

The two still pretended to act like they're at work until Gwen saw something. "Oh hey, your yearbook." Gwen exclaimed

"Um… you don't have to look at it and… that's not gonna be awkward at all." Trent told Gwen as soon as she started to look at the yearbook.

"Oh. My. God!" Gwen laughed and showed the camera crew Trent's yearbook photo. "Trent looks so dorky."

"Well… I'll take that as a compliment."

Meanwhile, at the improv class, Chris was acting out in a peaceful scene taking place in a library and followed what the scene was supposed to be. Then Chris' partner raised his arms after Chris whispered something to him. "Chris what did you do?" The improv teacher asked.

"He said that he's a cop and I'm under arrest." Chris' partner replied.

The improv teacher rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Okay let's call it a day. Good performances everyone." The improv teacher said and everyone was packing to leave.

While he got his coat, Chris overheard someone talking about going to a bar. "So a pub, huh?" Chris told a small group of the improv class. "All of us going to the pub. As friends."

"Actually… not all of us are going together. It's more of a private thing thrown by a person… who… happens to know all of us." One of the improv students said.

"Cool. Cool." Chris said while trying to hide his disappointment from them. "Well if you need me. Just call me on the old ringer. NOT!" Chris then laughed as he left the improv class.

Back in Trent's party, everyone from the office was enjoying themselves while three people are talking about work. "Well I didn't think the premium laser copy batch would sell as well as it did." Stanley told Justin and Sierra.

"Yeah it did surprise us all." Justin said. "I'll you why. Because it's-"

"I'm sorry." Sierra interrupted. "But can we please not talk about work."

In the living room, Gwen spotted Heather having a conversation with Ezekiel and nodded at the camera. "Hey Beth. Have you heard any juicy secrets regarding a secret romance?" Gwen asked.

"I don't know anything about secret office romance. Unless I count you and Trent." Beth said which left Gwen almost blushing and embarrassed. "I'm… sorry. I thought that you guys talk and hang out a lot. I'm really sorry."

"It's… alright, Beth. It's alright."

* * *

 ***Gwen's Confession (on the front door of Trent's place)***

Just because two people are hanging out, it doesn't mean that they're together, you know? Like people can just be friends. And I think that it was really unfair to think that there was anything else going on.

* * *

With everyone watching people do karaoke, Ezekiel caught everyone's attention when he leapt up from his seat. "SURPRISE!" Ezekiel shouted, meaning that Chris arrived at the Trent's house.

Ezekiel thought everyone would join him, but the room just went silent. "Wow. Looks like someone saw an ugly ghost. Just thought I can drive by and maybe a few glass of wine. Hey Temp, hang my coat will ya?" Chris said as he threw his coat to Cody. "Oh hey, I love karaoke. People call me the karaoke fiend!" Chris then got the mic and set the song to "Islands In the Stream". "Okay this song is a duet. So who wants to sing with me? Pam, you want to?" Chris asked and Pam shook her head while looking at the camera. Chris keeps asking people to sing with him until the song started. "Takers? Come on, everyone."

 _Baby when I met you there was peace unknown_

 _I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb_

 _I was soft inside_

 _There was something going on_

"Okay this part goes to a girl so-" Chris then sang the second verse in a high pitch voice

 _You do something to me that I can't explain_

 _Hold me closer and I feel no pain_

 _Every beat of my heart_

 _We got something going on_

Feeling bad for Chris, Trent got up and decided to sing with Chris.

 _Tender love is blind_

 _It requires a dedication_

 _All this love we feel needs no conversation_

 _We ride it together, huhn huh_

 _Making love with each other, huhn hah_

Everyone liked Chris and Trent's performance, especially Gwen. And while the two were singing, the camera caught two people, who could only be seen through their legs, making out in the backyard.


End file.
